Sooner or later you always get to the basement, in every relationship, family, workplace, organization, neighborhood, church.
The basement is not where the bodies are. It’s not where the bad stuff is.
The basement is where you see the stuff you don’t like
It’s where the sausage is made. It’s the tangled underside of the quilt you love.
It’s the first argument where you realize that new special person doesn’t really play fair. And they think the same of you.
It’s underwear on the floor and the toilet seat up, but to them it’s you griping about normal stuff like underwear on the floor and toilet seats up. All multiplied times a thousand.
It’s HR polices, decisions that seem silly, lack of appreciation, misunderstandings, quirky bosses, and ‘personalities.’
It’s the pastor’s long stories, the style of music, the ministries they emphasize, the ministries they don’t emphasize, offenses all around, and ‘it shouldn’t be this way, this is church.’
The basement is different for everybody
The things you find in the basement are not the same things others find. Some see you in the basement. And you see them.
I think in any new thing, you can expect to see the basement within a year or two. Maybe three. The more involved you are, the sooner you find it. The longer you're there, the more you see.
At first everything is wonderful. Upstairs is bright and welcoming. The lights are on, the floors are swept, the dishes clean. This doesn’t mean it’s phony or fake; it’s just the way it is.
When you see the basement at the beginning, you leave, right? It's the reason you don't marry that person or take that job or go to that church. The lights aren't bright to you.
So what do you do when you finally find the basement later?
That, of course is up to you.
What is not up to you is whether or not the next person or place has a basement. They do, guaranteed.
Expect the basement
Expect that the nature of the basement is that you disagree with what’s there and don’t like it.
And expect the temptation to fool yourself that the next basement will for sure be better than this one.
I think everybody in the whole world should read this! Doesn't this apply to everyone and every situation?
Thanks!
Posted by: Mrs.B | Monday, February 06, 2012 at 05:13 PM
This is a great post! So perfectly said I think I need to share this with my adult children, and just about everyone else :) Thanks
Posted by: Brooke | Tuesday, February 07, 2012 at 10:02 AM
This is SOOOO good.
And so true.
Posted by: Kara@The Chuppies | Tuesday, February 07, 2012 at 11:52 AM
Excellent! Is there a way that I can post this on my FB?
Thanks!
Posted by: JOY Tuggy | Tuesday, February 07, 2012 at 02:51 PM
Thank you Mrs.B! Appreciate it.
Posted by: Gary | Tuesday, February 07, 2012 at 06:47 PM
Brooke -- thanks so much for the kind words
Posted by: Gary | Tuesday, February 07, 2012 at 06:48 PM
Kara -- Appreciate it. Don't you get tired of making decisions based on the basement?
Posted by: Gary | Tuesday, February 07, 2012 at 06:50 PM
Joy -- just copy the address and link to it like you do any other post on FB. Thx for the encouragement.
Posted by: Gary | Tuesday, February 07, 2012 at 06:51 PM
Once you get to the basement, as you inevitably will, it's all in how you look at it. The basement can be a hidden, unsightly space. It's also the foundation of the house. Without spending time there, it's hard to build anything worthwhile.
Posted by: Stephen Martin | Tuesday, February 07, 2012 at 09:19 PM
Gary,
This is great stuff. I love the line about discovering that the person you love has a BASEMENT! We all do, and it's part of life. Life really gets good when we acknowledge the mess in each others lives and love in spite of the mess!Keep up the great work, Gary!
Barry
Posted by: The Ordained Barista | Thursday, February 09, 2012 at 09:11 AM
This is very good information for us all to ponder ... whether old or young. We all appreciate the good things but fail to realize that without the basement we can't have the rest of the house.
Thanks Gary.
Posted by: vicki Bucy | Friday, February 17, 2012 at 08:29 PM