New Life'n

The incredibly awesome power of habit

I am undisciplined.

I don’t have much will power.

I got guilt over routine things I think I should do and ways I think I should be.

Example: I read how Howard Hendricks, a wonderful godly man, would always wipe off the bathroom sink when he finished getting ready in the morning; even when he was on the road, in a hotel or at someone’s home.

I thought I should do that. But I never did.

Then one day I did. Used a wad of toilet paper on the sink and faucet right at the end of my morning routine. Took about 20 seconds. It felt good to see a clean sink when I turned the light off and left the bathroom. Was pretty satisfying. So I did it again the next day. And the next.

Today, six months later, I was in a big hurry, rushing, no time! Leaving the bathroom I glanced down at the sink. “Oooh, water.” Drops and puddles on the counter and faucet. I just had to wipe it off. “It’ll only take a second.”

It hit me: Awesome! I’ve changed!

I’m not the kind of guy to wipe down the bathroom sink every day. It’s just a habit.

One way to know you're on to something

How do you know if you’re on the right track?

When you’re on that track you’re full of energy for it

Energy is like income, a checkbook, IQ. You don’t have the same as everyone else and you’re not supposed to. And you have different energies available for different things.

Using up your energy causes stress. And stress uses up energy – it’s a circle. Less is available for other things.

God may give you less energy in some areas than others, so that you won’t focus on areas where he doesn’t want you. If you do misfocus, you run out of gas to force you back to where you should be.

There may be a reason why you feel like you have a full tank of gas 

It’s so you’ll GO

And if you’re tank feels empty it may be so you’ll stop.

Have you noticed?

We’re getting about a half-hour more of daylight now than a month ago. That’s a half-hour less of dark.

When it’s been dark, SO DARK for SO LONG and it starts to turn around, you don’t notice it at first.

It can take awhile to realize.

Then one day you can’t miss it.

You’ll see.

I went to Dealey Plaza

But I don’t know why.

I was in Dallas anyway, and thought I should visit the place where Kennedy was shot. Why?

I had already been there twenty years ago. Saw everything. Why go again? I’m not interested in the Kennedys.

I was 12 when it happened. I remember the announcement in school, and that our family shopped for furniture the weekend of the funeral. My parents bought a round, green rug where I played with my dachshund Fritz, and where later my kids crawled when we visited grandma.

They kept that furniture until they died.

What does furniture and being 12 have to do with why I would want to go?

My wife Brenda says it’s just because it’s a big historic thing. I don’t know. We’ve visited a lot of big historic things. This seemed different.

At the Plaza, the few people there were almost loitering, standing around alone or in small groups. You expected an announcement: “C’mon people, it was almost 50 years ago! Nothing to see here…move on!”

It was like they were trying to figure something out, but couldn’t. Me too.

I thought maybe if I started writing this, I’d understand why I had to go.

Nope.

That thing you want might be important. Here's why.

We’re probably not talking about a car/house kind of thing. More meaningful than that.

Imagine you just died

and you’re in heaven engaged in a heavy duty conversation with God.

He’s showing you some things that didn’t happen in your life, some things that for some reason you didn’t do. Maybe a project, idea, vocation, relationship, ministry…something like that.

And you say, “That’s exactly what I really wanted!”

And he says, “I know.”

And you realize

That thing you wanted was what he wanted, too

That’s why you wanted it. He made you want it, so you would cooperate with him, trust him, and do it.

But you didn’t.

So now, after you wake from your Scrooge dream and find you’re still alive, what are you going to do?

Not believe it?

Be afraid?

Be lazy?

Avoid it?

Make excuses?

The dream conversation could turn into a real one at any second.

He coulda been a hero

Guy’s wife is standing next to a booth at the fast food restaurant. He walks up with their bag of food and says, “I’d rather sit at a table.”

She pauses. “But, I’d really like a booth.” She looks at him.

This is the moment where heroes are made.

He looks away from her toward the table and starts walking. “Well, I’d really like a table.” He’s not mean. He just wants what he wants.

Would you rather have a table or a happy wife?

Put it another way: would you rather have a table or a wife who sees you as caring, unselfish, giving, and sacrificing.

Just letting her sit where she wants will make her happy?

She won’t add up the good all at once. She may not even notice that you gave her what she wanted. But if you repeat it, and it’s a lifestyle, she’ll feel honored, and in her heart you’ll get the credit.

When you get the credit, through her attitude of gratitude towards you, you’ll be happy. It will be a happiness that affects every part of your relationship together. It will be a happiness that you didn’t anticipate. A happiness that grows on you.

And then something magical happens

You begin to feel selfish for being generous and selfless.

You feel selfish because the good will you’re getting from your wife feels pretty good, and is worth more than what you gave up. You look for more chances to be selfless. The more you do it, the better she feels, and the better you feel.

The more you do it for her, the more she does it for you. Before you know it, your disagreements are about giving in, not getting: “I promise I just want what you want..really, it will make me happy.” And you mean it.

Or

you could get your way for twenty minutes and take the table and eat your burger and live with a woman who knows you care more about yourself than her.

She won’t say anything. But she’ll feel it. And you will too.

Two GUARANTEED ways to NEVER be bored again

                                                                                      photo by tonydetroit

#1.

Get a smartphone

No matter where you are or what you’re doing you will always be able to occupy yourself in a wonderful variety of ways.

You got your phone, email, song library, camera, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pandora, podcasts, Angry Birds, weather radar, TED videos, sports blogs, news, plus anything that pops into your head you can immediately research to discover that the movie with the circus horse that jumped off the tower into the water was called “Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken.”

In line at the DMV, the Walgreens, the stop light (honk!)? Waiting at the doctors office or in the car while hubby runs into Home Depot? You’ll never complain about any long wait again.

AND, best of all, you’ve got a built in distraction to keep you from #2.

#2.

Embrace the reason you were put on this earth. 

Not sure what that reason is? #1 can keep you distracted from discovering that, too.

Knowledge is the easy part

Knowing what to do is not that hard

You can ask, find out, learn, get schooling, get experience. We major on knowledge and knowing what to do because it’s easier and definable. 

You can learn to do a budget. You can count calories. You can make a list of books to read. You can know those things and be broke, overweight, and unread.  

When I was part of a morning radio show, we were interviewed on our philosophy and approach to our job. I was amazed at the knowledge that came out of our mouths -- we really were exprienced, knowledgable, talented morning guys. The interviewer was impressed. We were impressed. But we weren't doing any of the stuff we talked about. We knew how, we knew what, we wanted to do it, we meant to do it. But we didn't.

The will is the hard part 

For example, here are two easy to answer questions. You could ask these in any decision, big or small, about how to spend this moment, hour, day:

1.  Is this contributing to what I want to accomplish?

2.  Could this potentially hinder what I want to accomplish?

Pretty easy to answer those most of the time; it's yes or no. And you can see how the answers could keep you on track any time you make a decision. Answer those questions and you've got valuable knowledge.

But in a million years would you make it a lifestyle to ask those questions and then live by the answers? Even though you know your life would be better?

I don’t, even though I see great value if I did. I don’t have the will.

Read this next thing and see if you don’t agree that it's wise. But do you have the will to apply it?

We defeat our own purposes when we spread ourselves too thinly, striking everywhere and hitting hard nowhere – Vance Havner

Inside I do a fist pump. It's genius. I agree with it.

Do I follow it? Or does it stay knowledge that I can quote even though I don't do it? If you don't do it, it's not finished. We let each other get away with unfinished knowledge all the time, and we're impressed with each other! Look how much he knows!

Those two questions and that quote are not the point. The point is...

If knowledge is the cake batter, your will is the oven

How impressive is cake batter?