From beer to eternity: yes, people change. I did.

31 Days of Scary Hope : encouragement to go from IS to COULD BE.

Yesterday, you heard a bit of my wife’s story. Today, mine. Neither one of us could change. But we did. See, there’s hope.

That guy holding the kid in the picture at the top of the page?

That’s me, holding the Nester. I’d been drinking for maybe two years by then. Out of sight on the left side of the picture is an old garage, and on the dirt floor in that garage are dozens of empty quart beer bottles. In the cellar of the house out of sight on the other side of the picture are maybe a hundred more bottles. I don’t know why I let them collect. Maybe they were my friends, and I hated to let them go.

I drank three quarts of beer a day for 5,187 days.

I know because I know the day I started and the day I quit, and I can add.

Sometimes I drank more than three quarts in a day, sometimes less. In a year I might go one day without drinking.

I never drank at work, never got in trouble for drinking. When I quit after 14 years, I never went through withdrawal. I was not physically addicted, but I was mentally and emotionally consumed with drinking and making sure I always had enough in reserve. I was a functional alcoholic. This was dangerous because nothing was going to happen to make me quit.

I tried to stop. I could go a few hours. Never a whole day, unless circumstances made drinking impossible. After a few years, I realized I was an alcoholic and became resigned to it. This was the way it was going to be, and I would never quit, and I would die early. At the time, I thought ‘early’ meant thirty more years, so there was no sense of urgency. I could pretend it wasn’t real, and the beer was glad to help me pretend.

I hid my drinking and lied to my wife.

This is not good for a marriage. Worse, it was not good for Brenda. What a horrible thing to do to your wife. But beer was a god, and I served that god. It took years after I quit for her to trust me.

Drinking was lots of work. Calculating, hiding, lying, passing out on the floor – it wears on you. One day Brenda confronted me and in a moment of weakness I confessed. She didn’t get mad. Not yelling at me was the worst thing she could have done. If she got mad, I could get mad back. But she didn’t and I was left with nothing to think about but despicable me. All I knew then was I wasn’t going to drink the rest of that day or tomorrow.

That was the end of it.

It was supernatural. I totally stopped. I didn’t try to quit. I just stopped.

You know what was most supernatural? I didn’t know Jesus yet. That was still two years away. But he took it away from me anyway, as if it went right along with a miraculous salvation experience that would have people cheering in church. He can do anything he wants, you know, any way he wants. This was how he wanted it.

Years later, a friend told me, “I can’t imagine you with a beer in your hand.” Which is funny because I once couldn’t imagine myself without a beer in my hand. That’s how much things changed.

Marriage now? I never knew anything this good existed.

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You can read a more thorough version of this journey at From Beer to Eternity: a little story of addiction and beyond.

To start at the beginning of this 31 day series of hope, click HERE.

Comments

[Shelley Johannes]

Awesome. Nothing better than hearing someone's story of the power of God in their life. And how he can bring true change. There is nothing more debilitating than believing things will always be the same, that there is no hope. But thankfully, there always is.

[Jen@ADropintheBucket]

Wow. Thanks so much for sharing your story. To think, it could have an impact on so many people.

[Gary]

Shelley -- Stories of change inspire me, too, and shape my expectations and perspective.

[Gary]

Jen -- we've all got a story; we just share and the Lord decides how to use it. Thx

[Martha]

Thank you for your story. My husband was a functional alcoholic as well. I am not sure how long he drank. I do know that at the end he drank 22 beers a day and I didn't know that he was drunk. Right before the end, he cheated on our sweet little family and almost destroyed our farm, marriage and family. He never lied about the drinking but never told the truth either. One day he realized that he was an alcoholic and quit. He has been sober over 4 years and our life has improved greatly. We have put our marriage and family back together. Each day is a step in the right direction. People can change. I have witnessed it. I witness an amazing thing every day. Thanks again for sharing. It means a lot. : )

[Abbie Knaub]

It's so hard to believe that MY problem, MY issue could just be gone like that. But there's your story. And God works in his way and his time. If I let him. I want to let him.

[red bottom heel]

Nice, and thanks for sharing this info with us.Good Luck!