I have a friend who’s confident. He seems to rarely doubt or question himself. Doesn't do a lot of the introspection thing. I admire his ability to ignore shortcomings -- they don’t distract him from his confidence. He knows he messes up, but it doesn’t change who he thinks he is.
I have another friend who has a poor self-image. To him, his shortcomings are a given, they’re him. He believes any messages that affirm this – it’s like he’s looking for them. When things happen that show his strengths or abilities, he discounts them, as if they’re not true. He already knows who he is.
Is it a universal to have your mind made up about who you are, what kind of person you are? So, when contrary evidence shows up, you know it’s an exception?
Most of us aren’t in the business of deciding where we fit and who we are. We settled that a long time ago, without really deciding, or it was decided for us and we believed it. There’s no going back. And now we major on noticing the things that affirm what we already believe. So the conclusion gets stronger as you age.
But, it seems like who you are could be doing some morphing, and the context of how you fit in with your world could be, too. Wouldn’t it be normal to be open to some adjustment in your opinion of yourself?
But, maybe your picture of yourself solidifies young, or is hard-wired by God. Maybe he does this is on purpose as part of the agenda of his personal business with you.
Or maybe change really is that scary.
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