Listen long. Don’t jump in with an opinion or with questions. Listen until they run out of gas, or say ”what do you think” or start repeating. Only stop them when you’re SURE you’ve heard enough. Having a back and forth Q&A too early wastes time. You’ll learn more just listening straight thru. Plus it’s honoring to them to be listened to, but that’s not the main reason you’re doing it – it really is more efficient. You’re trying to get maximum information so you can help.
You’ll learn things, too, just from what they choose to say and how they say it – that could be helpful. If they stop and you don’t have an opinion, ask a few questions. Then listen again.
Sometimes you’ll think of something real quick. Wait and keep listening to make sure it doesn’t change. Sometimes you’ve got nothing – that’s when you really want them to keep going.
We’re not talking 2-3 hours here. We’re not talking deep counseling (although listening is rule #1 there, too). Most people will explain their issue in fifteen minutes or less. Usually way less.
Obviously there are exceptions. Some people are long-winded or constantly give irrelevant details – you might need to steer some then. Or maybe they don’t really want help, or you know their mind is made up and they’re just looking for affirmation. It’s fine to interrupt and control the conversation then, too – you already know all you need to know.
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