Have you ever been around someone and no matter what they’re asked, they have an answer? And sometimes you know better, and when they answer authoritatively and definitively you end up doubting all their answers because you realize they’re never going to say ‘I don’t know.’
It’s counter-intuitive. Never saying ‘I don’t know’ leads people to realize you really don’t. And admitting you don’t know gives more credibility to things you do.
Another way to say ‘I don’t know’ is to answer with questions – more and more questions. In answering your questions, the person asking the original question may end up answering it. So it will have the same effect as if you did know even though you didn’t. It’s a nice deal -- they get something better than your flailing around can give and you keep your credibility.
i know a couple of people who even when the question concerns opinion and not fact, they never fail to have one, and not just any opinion, but an unshakable one they seem often ready to explain in tedious detail.
My favorite doctor is a woman who is never afraid to say, "i don't know", making me trust her all the more when she does. Uncertainty seems to lead her to a more thorough investigation only giving me more confidence in the end that she has found the correct answer.
i learn so much more from people who are willing to consider all kinds of possibilities. While some things i think we should make up our minds on and then never consider alternatives, most issues aren't like that. i learn more by not "knowing" and from the experience the search for an answer provides. Having my mind made up puts an end to curiosity and maybe, in some cases, to creativity, which for me is little more than wondering "what if...?"
Maybe those who 'know everything' think uncertainty a sign of weakness, but asking a question or at least investigating possibilities seems one path to new information.
When we know it all and are convinced of it, there isn't much to talk about.
And what discovery didn't begin with asking, being unsure, wondering, dreaming and perhaps considering what at first may seem impossible? Hmmm... I have to say i don't know.
Posted by: alyson | Tuesday, September 01, 2009 at 08:00 AM