The art of your influence

There can be an art to it, and depending on how you're made, the art of your influence will be unique to you.

There is a kind of influence that is direct, even blunt, even in-your-face.  That kind is needed to shake people and wake them up to reality.  A husband who says God has led him to leave his wife for another woman may need that kind of influence, and more.  But that's not really an art and it's not what I'm talking about here.

The art of influence asks questions.  It wants to understand.  It's patient.  It doesn't assume it has an answer although at times it will be very convinced and will say so.  It's afraid to answer questions it hasn't been asked.  When it does speak, it tells people what they feel like they already know, only they haven't put it into words.  It leaves them encouraged but also sometimes really convicted.  It doesn't draw attention to itself, and if it does start getting attention, the art starts melting, leaving only a needy, measly person standing in it's place -- like when the carriage turns into a pumpkin.

The cool thing about the art of your influence is it transforms wherever you are and whatever you're doing into a potentially difference-making moment.  No matter what your role -- parent, employee, boss, teacher, neighbor, friend, minister -- the art of your influence can help people beyond your "official" role with them. 

The uncool thing is if you try to make it happen, if you're conscience of it, if you think you're any kind of advice-giver, that melting carriage and pumpkin thing can start to happen.  Like most art, it's a very sensitive thing, and has to be developed and seasoned over time, often in isolation, before it's very useful to others.  But it's worth it.  For them and for you.

Comments

[Violet @Create Beauty]

I found your blog today for the first time.
From your daughter's Nesting blog. I like what you say here. Very insightful. I read your story also, and sent the link to someone who I thought could relate to your story and find help. Or see that they need help. It takes so long sometimes to admit it! I am the daughter of an alcholic. What a blessing to your wife and daughters that you turned away from drinking and that your heart has been captured by the love of God!!!