New Life'n

May I join you?

I'm an alcoholic who drank for fourteen years and who's been married to a woman for over thirty years who stayed with me thru the drinking.  That's her on the left; Brenda -- she's worth knowing way more than me, but she doesn't like to draw attention to herself, so I won't.  At age 35 I miraculously stopped drinking and then was rescued by Jesus Christ two years later (you can read all that HERE). 

I've been part of morning radio shows for over twenty years, and have served churches during that time as a teacher and elder.  I'm an unordained, uncredentialed, unschooled, ordinary guy who comes from a long line of ministering laymen.  From that heritage of one-on-one discipleship I learned to try to be an example of an everyday Christian applying orthodox doctrine and biblical thinking to things that affect everyday living.  

I was taught to take responsibility for my own growth and influence, and to take that responsibility seriously, so I suppose it's normal that I'm motivated to try do the same thing with others.  I think the main way I can do that is to help you the same way I was helped.  That is, to develop insight into the Bible, insight into people, and insight into the world, and to help you integrate those insights into a lifestyle of influence that will be a blessing to God, to your family, your church, yourself and the world.  That's pretty much the kind of thing you've been reading on this blog, especially the last two months; I just haven't put it into words until now.  But it seems only fair to tell you that's what I'm up to, so you can decide if you're interested, and also to warn you I'm going to try to be a bit more purposeful in that.  Not much will change, but sometimes you may notice more of a theme, and of course everything you see here is from the point of view of the unschooled, ordinary guy. 

It's easy to think if you're not officially accredited, licensed or endorsed that your influence and contribution is somehow less important.  Since it seems less important, it's easy to cheat yourself and others by not taking your influence and potential contribution seriously.  What a shame.  There's only one you, and you were made by God to be used by him to make a difference.  But you have to take personal responsibility for your own influence, and a great way to be an influence is to develop your insight into the Bible and people and things so that you're an influence no matter what you're doing.  If you want to do that, I'd like to join you, and maybe help, as I try to grow in doing the same.

Worse than foolishness

Nobody wants to look like a fool.  Solomon was as opposite from a fool as you can get and so knew one when he saw one, and he doesn't have anything good to say about foolishness.  In Proverbs 26 he goes on and on about how bad it is to be a fool or to have to live with one.

He says a fool isn't fit for honor.  You have to control him by physical force, like an animal.  Don't imitate him.  Don't let him get away with his foolishness.  Don't depend on him.  He's not worth listening to.  He'll destroy what he's hired to do and make you look like a bad boss.  He never learns from his mistakes.

He says all this and more in his colorful Solomon-way, and then after all that proving how hopeless a fool is, after getting you to where you're convinced you're not one of THOSE kind of people, and you're glad you're not 'cause that would be the worst, he stops.  And punches you in the stomach:

"Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes?  There is more hope for a fool than for him."

Gulp.

Take a fool and be a fool before taking or being a man who thinks he's wiser than he is.

And you think about it and you realize that sin, and the fall, did not happen due to foolishness.  It was pride.  And Jesus was not killed by fools, but by prideful, jealous men.

Pride is more dangerous than foolishness.

So what comes first?

The inside thing that steers you or the outside goal, destination?

If you know the outside goal, destination is true and good do you focus on that?  Is it possible to do that and get there, yet ignore the inside steering thing?  Not that you would ignore it, but could you?

Yet if you focus on the inside steering thing, is it possible you could miss the goal, destination?

If you can only major on one thing, depend on one thing, focus on one thing first, which should it be?  The inside steering thing or the good, true goal?   

How to apologize

If you remember nothing else, remember this:

1.  Keep it simple

2.  Keep it short

If you need more of an explanation:

KEEP IT SIMPLE
No matter how complicated the issue is, no matter how much to blame the other person is, no matter how much you think you have a point and reason why you acted the way you did, you will fail if you go there in your apology. 

Before you apologize, ask yourself what it was you feel like you did wrong, that you wish you hadn't done, or should have done -- that's the only thing you're going to mention.  Do not say you're both to blame.  Do not bring up the disagreement or thing that led to you doing the thing you're apologizing for.  Keep all that stuff separate, for another time.  Just say, "I should not have _____" or "I was out of line when I _____"  and then ask for their forgiveness (yes, you must ask for forgiveness).  Say it like you mean it.  If you don't mean it, don't say it.  Then STOP.  Leave or get off the phone or close the email or totally change the subject.  Keep it simple.

KEEP IT SHORT
If you do the above you don't have to know any more because it will be short.  But, in case you somehow think keeping it simple could also include making it long, it doesn't!  

The guy cry

We say guys can cry, sure, but it better not be a girlie, emotional, out-of control cry.  But the more you fight it, the more you feel it build up, like that moment of nausea when you know there's no turning back. threatening to violate guy-code rule #1 -- no blubbering!  God forbid.  And even when we do it right, we feel like we should hide it.  You know, go die in the bushes like a sick elephant.

I'm a sucker for father-son stories.  Flipping around TV, "October Sky" was on and for some reason I got hooked and stayed with it.  I tried so hard to not tear up when Homer's dad showed up at the end to finally see one of his son's rocket launches.  And Homer has his dad push the launch button (sniff) and then as they watch the rocket soar and soar, dad puts his arm around Homer's shoulder (turn head away from wife, slooooowly sniff so she doesn't notice).  OK!  Time to walk the dog!

They opened the new Yankee Stadium this month, without Thurman Munson's old locker.  They put it in a museum.  That locker stayed empty in the clubhouse, unused, for thirty years after he died.  They just never assigned it to anybody.  His son was little when it happened and never knew his dad.  There was a moment last fall after the last game ever at the old stadium where grown-up Michael visits the locker, stands right where his dad's feet used to stand, looks into the same mirror his dad looked into, sees his own reflection where his dad saw his, and talks and says goodbye to his dad for fifteen minutes.  Now, that'll make a guy look for a bush somewhere.  

 

Listening in -- red

Last of three parts of a picture of a quiet time going from blue (fifteen minutes) thru green (another thirty minutes or so) to red (another thirty minutes or so).  Your times and mileage may vary.  For the rest of Gary's musings on this, see the five previous posts.

--------------------------------

Now I go to Luke 8 -- in the New Testament I've been reading thru Luke.  See how easy it is to know where to read when you follow a little schedule?  I read thru Psalms and the Old Testament in the order they're written, and the Proverb numbered for that day, and I choose a book in the New Testament to read thru several times to get to know it better.  I keep track of where I am, four different places in the Bible, so whenever I read I just pick up where I left off in one or more of those places.  On a good day I'll read in all four places.  Like I said earlier, it's been a few weeks since there's been a good day.

Jesus is in a boat with his guys during a big storm.  If I hadn't read the previous things (see previous posts on blue and green) I would be starting over fresh here.  But I HAVE been reading and thinking for about an hour, and those other things have sensitized me to the idea of "fearing the Lord."  So that's in my mind as I turn to this next place in my reading "schedule."  It's amazing how often it seems that schedule has been designed and, like, preordained, for that day.  If I'll just read it.

So Jesus is in the boat, "And a windstorm came on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger."  His guys wake him up -- the danger is not just in their minds, the boat IS filling with water!  "Master, we are perishing!"

And Jesus rebukes the wind and the waves -- don't you love that?  "Rebukes!"  Like he corrects the wind, tells it it's wrong, tells it to knock it off.  And the rage turns to calm.  And he says to them, "'Where is your faith?'  And they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another, 'Who is this then, that he commands even winds and water and they obey him?'"

And I think, their fear of Jesus is not the same as their fear of perishing.  It's more like the kind of feeling you have that makes you say, "Oh, my God!"  It's an awesome respect of someone who is beyond fully understanding.  You don't fool around with him.  You don't treat him like just another person.  He rebukes the wind!  There is this sense of, what effect could this have on my life if I ignore him?  I don't know, but I'm not going to mess around and find out.

Jesus calming and controlling the waves leads to them being afraid of him -- they know what he can do.

And here's where over an hour of reading and thinking and listening add up.  And I think for me, this day, it added up in a way I would not have noticed, if I had started here cold.  But since I had gone thru blue and been sensitized to the fear-the-Lord idea, and had kept reading and noticed more, it was like the Lord was leading me to something he wanted me to realize:

If his friends in the boat had been afraid, in awe, of him BEFORE the storm, they would NOT have been afraid of the storm.  If they had known "who then is this," their reaction to the danger and the storm would have been radically altered.

Now for me, I say I do know 'who then is this,' and that I have faith in him, but my reaction of insecure nervousness in even small, undangerous circumstances betrays what I say I believe.  So now what?  I don't know.

This is a different, and more uncomfortable reaction than I had in the first fifteen minutes of my quiet time (blue), when I had a nice, true observation about wisdom and fear of the Lord.  Now it's personal and challenging, and for me, a place I would not have arrived without the little journey from blue to green to red.  Which may be why I don't take that journey all that often.

Listening in -- green

Second of three parts of listening in to a quiet time going from blue to green to red.  The times mentioned are just mine; yours might be longer or shorter.

---------------------------------

Next I'm in Proverbs (19 cause that was the day of the week).  I had been thinking about the need for wisdom in making decisions, and how "fear of the Lord" is the beginning of that.  Now I think it goes beyond individual decisions.  This wisdom that starts with fearing the Lord ends up being about how you look at life and the world.  How it works, what you expect.

It says, "Whoever gets sense loves his own soul; he who keeps understanding will discover good."  I think:  When you expect bad, you find it.  When you expect good, you find IT.  This is not positive thinking; it's sensitivity to what's already there.  What do you want to focus on?

For example, if you look for bad in your spouse or kids or coworkers -- you'll find it!  It's there!  And if you look for good, you'll find that, too -- it's there.  What do you want to focus on?  What do you want people to focus on with you?  They can find what's wrong with you -- it's there -- and you won't be able to argue.

I read, "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense."  There IS something you could be angry about.  There IS an offense.  Are you going to focus on it?  If you look for it, you will find it.  There's always one there.  But, wisdom, good sense and understanding say NO.  And that starts with "fear of the Lord."  You don't have to be angry or take offense.  Things are in God's hands.

It says, "The fear of the Lord leads to life and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm."  There's no rest in being angry or offended.  When you fear the Lord you leave things that belong to him, with him.

OK, that's a summary of about another forty minutes.  Green.  Stop here and you start over next time with blue.  Keep going and you may get to red.

Listening in -- starting at blue

You've seen quiet time type things here the last few days because of what happened Sunday.  Sunday I had about ninety minutes of reading, thinking, meditating, praying and getting to red.  Deal is, it's the first time in weeks and weeks that I've been beyond the fifteen minute mark.  No, it's not about the time, but remember, you don't usually get red without the time.  Before red, you start cool and blue, then heat up thru green.  It's like the spectrum, left to right.  And the little journey I took during that time reminded me how much I need that.  We're not talking study -- we're talking listening and pondering.  Here's what I would have missed -- the little journey with a definite point at the end (I'll keep it brief by spreading it out over three days)...

--------------------------

I'm reading Psalm 111 (I read progressively thru the Psalms) and it reminds me of this constant sense of a need for wisdom and understanding.  In the inner thought life.  In family and marriage.  Work and church.  For decisions about jobs, kids, projects, emergencies, suprises.  It's a constant tension always going on in some area. 

And I read "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  This is actually all over the Bible.  And the next words are, "all those who practice it have a good understanding." 

I think about some conclusions I've come to (over the years) about what it means to fear the Lord: To be afraid to do anything apart from him.  To be afraid to go out on your own and trust yourself.  Be afraid, and that's the beginning of wisdom. 

And I think it's pretty basic -- there's only two kinds of wisdom:  Man's.  And God's.

OK, that's about 10-15 minutes.  Blue.  Stop here, and next time you start over at blue.  Keep going and you can get to green.

From and thru

You might think of your devotional, relational time with God in three ways:

1. the minutes-a-day quiet time
2. the 'red zone' long-form relaxed time in his presence (see previous post)
3. and the moment-to-moment sensitivity to him and his leadership as you go thru a day

That third one is like a lifestyle habit of this sub-surface conversation with him.  It's along the lines where the Bible says to keep in step with the Spirit, and do not grieve the Spirit, and "apart from Me you can do nothing."  When you're with your spouse or someone you love, and you're doing something together, you're sensitive to them and their presence and desires.  Same thing.  Except this spouse created you and owns you and died for you and knows everything that's going on and how you fit in and why -- which can be a little extra motivation.

All this is a big part of the quality of your relationship with him.  And the quality of your service to him and others (ministry) is directly related to the quality of your relationship with him.

I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing -- John 15.5

Only way to red

Have you noticed when you spend lengthy time with people, from family to just acquaintances, say several hours or even days, the end of your time together is very different from the beginning?  It starts out a bit stiff, and then you go thru some things, meals, activities, even bumping heads some, and without noticing it you get into a rhythm and a connection that wasn't there when you started.  Usually you don't realize it until you're done and saying an emotional goodbye. 

There's no shortcut to that connection you sense at the end.  It builds and grows thru what happens as you spend time together.

You may notice the same kind of thing in any thinking or creative thing you do -- it takes time to "get in the zone" and interruption is your enemy.  And it's the same with REM dream sleep -- there are stages of sleep you go thru before you get to the dreaming, and if you wake up, you start over.  And REM sleep is important: people who get too little can be depressed.

It can be the same with God.

I notice there's a place I get with God when I've been thinking and reading and listening and praying for thirty minutes or an hour or more.  And there's no shortcut.  I can't get there in five minutes.  It's like after five minutes it's blue and then later it's green and after an hour or more it's red.  If there's any interruption, I have to start all over.  I do the five minutes all the time, and it's important and worth it, but if I don't do the longer I never get to red.  And I need red. 

But, hey, I'm busy.  How'm I supposed to find time for a regular, lengthy me & Him?  There's just no way.  I'm thinking maybe His reaction is, "That's OK, I'm not mad at you and I still love you, and you don't have to feel guilty, but I'm not changing this natural law.  I put it there on purpose -- guess why."  If you need red, there's only one way to get there.