"Will you love me like that?"
That's the question Dennis Rainey's wife asked him when she heard how Robertson McQuilkin loved his wife, Muriel. Robertson gave up his job and ministry years ago to care for his wife when she got worse with Alzheimer's. He was President of Columbia International University (which New Life 91.9 is a ministry of -- see links on the left). Here's his resignation announcement, and how he loved her:
This week Family Life Today is replaying the five-part interview with Robertson.
Here's a description of how he saw caring for her:
Robertson: She is sweet, she's contented, she's totally dependent on me, and I just – from all the background of the wonderful years that we spent together, I have all the memories, and it's just a joy to see that I can make a difference in her life.
Bob: You understand the challenge. I mean, a lot of people listening are thinking six years of being bedfast and not speaking sounds more like something you endure than something you enjoy.
Robertson: I guess it depends on your outlook. If you consider yourself a victim, and you'd rather be – you know, I never think about "what if." I don't think "what if" is in God's vocabulary. So I don't even think about what I might be doing instead of changing her diaper or what I might be doing instead of spending two hours feeding her. It's the grace of God, I'm sure, like you said, Dennis, but it also may be the way I'm wired to live the now and not live in the past or live in the future.
How does being a man and a husband and a Christian merge together when your wife gets sick?...
Well, someone asked me when I began to make career plans, and I said, "No, no, I've never been career-oriented. It's cause-oriented. The touchstone for me always has been how can I – whatever God has put in me or will put in me, invested in me, how can that count to the max for what He's up to in the world.
So all decisions, then, major decisions of my life, have been what would advance the cause? "What is God's will" is another way to put it. So when I say "simple," I mean it was not hard for me to discern what God's will was. But a student asked me one time after I had resigned, a new student came over to visit me, and he said, "Do you miss being president?" And I said, "Well, you know, I never thought about it but, no, I don't. I like my assignment. I've learned to cook and keep house and garden, and I take care of Muriel. I love it."
So that night before I went to sleep I thought about his question, and I said, "Now, Lord, this is fine. This is Your assignment, and I like it, but if the coach puts the player on the bench, and it means He doesn't need him in the game. Now, You're under no obligation to tell me, Lord, but if You'd like to share with me, I'd love to know why You didn't need me in the game." And I had a troubled night that night.
The next morning – at that time, Muriel could still walk – sort of wobbly, so we'd take a walk out in the neighborhood, and I'd have to hold her hand to be sure she wouldn't fall. We were walking along a narrow sidewalk with a high embankment on one side and a very busy thoroughfare on the other. And, fortunately, we never met anybody there, or somebody would have to get out in that traffic. But this day I heard footsteps behind me. I looked back, and here was a local derelict weaving along behind us. I said, well, he'll never catch up, but he did. And he just sort of wobbled out into the traffic and back up in front of us, and he turned around and looked at us up and down. And then he said, "I likes that. I really likes that. That's good. That's real good." And then he turned around, and off down the street in front of us, mumbling to himself, "That's good. That's good. I likes it."
Well, we got back to our yard and sitting there in the garden, and I was chuckling over it. You know, I'm happy for the affirmation. And then, all of a sudden, I said to myself or who knows, I said, "God, could you talk through a half-inebriated old derelict?" And I said yes, it's God that says, "I likes that." And, Lord, if you like it, that's all I need.
Links to audio and transcripts of the interviews are HERE.
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