This assumes you don't want this to turn into a big back-and-forth confrontation that drags on for days or weeks (or longer), dominating your thoughts and mood and sapping your energy. Or maybe you like that, in which case, go for it!
It assumes common, everyday kinds of things, not Jesus-clearing-the-temple issues. The temple probably deserved clearing every day -- but even then, he chose to only do it twice.
This also assumes you want things to turn out better than they are at the moment, not worse, and that winning and proving you're right are not your main motivations. Have you ever argued and tried to prove you were right and had someone say, Oh! Now I see! You're right! I haven't. And thru arguing, have you ever said that to someone else? I haven't.
It's an art. Your motivations, goals, humility and sensitivity to the Lord will determine your response. There is no how-to. But since we never think about this until we're in the emotional middle of it, here's the start of some guidelines to help think straight when you feel you need to confront someone. You'll probably have better ideas.
1. Being uncomfortable about confronting is normal. It's the price you pay for clarifying and loving and doing the right thing.
2. You can control what you say, but you cannot control how they take it or what their reaction might be.
3. Before you say or write anything, think of the reaction you want. What are you trying to achieve? What do you want to see happen? Start there and measure everything you write or say by whether it contributes to that goal.
4. Assume anything you write is going to be seen by the whole world. It might be.
5. The "I just want to tell them how I feel" thing that is the first, most tempting thing to do would probably be the last thing to do, when you've done everything else, and you don't have any hope left for a positive (in your eyes) ending.
6. They may not have a clue how you feel. Even if you know they have a clue, you don't know everything they're thinking. There may be something they say that changes how you see them and the situation. You don't want them to say later, "why didn't you come to me first?" Then you're the one in the wrong.
7. Resist the urge to complain to someone else about the person. You have to go to the offender first. This is the Bible's way. It's also the hard way. I know what you're thinking -- they did me wrong, why should I have to be the one to have to do the work of thinking and confronting? Because Jesus DIED for sinners.
8. It's normal to feel like you're cutting them more slack than they're cutting you (they might feel the same way). Go ahead, be like Jesus.
9. You might be very wrong in what you assume are the other person's motivations. You might be very wrong about what they did and why.
10. The saying, seek first to understand and then to be understood is very wise.
11. If during the confrontation/writing you feel like you're constantly biting your tongue and backing up and giving grace, you're probably on the right track.
12. Try to anticipate how what you say or write can be taken. I know, I know, THEY didn't consider how YOU could take it! Adjust or clarify what you say to reduce the chance of misinterpretation, or you'll complicate the whole thing.
13. The more you say, the better chance there will be something in there that can be misunderstood. Say everything you need to and no more.
14. Sometimes making a sandwich is best -- casual, loving, complimentary at the front; the short, meaty thing-you-have-to-say in the middle; and then finish with more casual, loving appreciation at the end. Any compliments and appreciation have to be sincere -- plus, it's good to remind yourself of their good qualities.
15. Sometimes short and blunt is best, with a soft loving touch at the end.
16. If you want to say something just to get it off your chest, and don't care what their reaction is, then go ahead. But don't kid yourself that they'll "see the light" -- you'll probably make it worse. Again, don't forget #2.
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