How to love her well

Sometimes dads say things to encourage or inspire daughters.  Sometimes grown daughters do the same with dads.

Our daughter Emily was asked by her engaged friend to share a few hints with the groom about how to love his new wife well.  Emily took her five years of married experience and gave this 'charge' to him during the wedding ceremony (I removed the name-specific stuff so it's universal to all us husbands):

Her heart is tender and dear, and you have captured it.  She has been starry-eyed over you since...(fill in the day she first looked at you that way)

Whatever you do, don't try to be the perfect husband.  It's impossible.  The best thing you can do for her is to trust the life of Jesus Christ in you to love and provide for her and to allow Him to be what she needs as He expresses Himself through your unique personality.

Know that sometimes she'll cry and you won't know why.  Don't worry, most of the time, neither will she cuz she's a girl and that's just what we do.  It's good for her!  Your hand over hers and your willingness to listen will go a very long way during those times.

Notice her.  She will never push her way into the lime light...it isn't natural for her to try to get credit for things or recognition for all that she does and is from those around her.  I know that she would be delighted, though, if you her husband, were to praise her in front of others...even though her face may turn red and she may squirm, she will be thankful that you notice.

Ask her questions.  She really wants to share her life with you and she longs to know you and to be known by you, but sometimes she may have a little trouble getting started.  When you ask her questions about how she's doing or how her day was or how she feels about things, it helps her to feel connected with you and to experience your love for her.

She loves to be near you. I can't say for sure if one of her love languages is quality time, but I have a feeling it might be.

She needs a hero.  And sometimes the Lord will allow you to be that hero for her.  But sometimes He won't.  And that is good and right.  Because ultimately what she needs is for you to take her by the hand and lead her to the cross.

Remember that the Lord had her hand-picked for you from before you even knew she existed.  Every good and perfect gift comes from Him.  And she is a very good gift -- remember to thank Him for her and to pray for and with her.