New Life'n

31 Days of Scary Hope : encouragement to go from IS to COULD BE

"31 Days of..." is an October let's-make-life-better thing that a mob of great women, including my daughters, are teaming together to do all month. Read 'em all and be blessed HERE.

To subscribe to automatically receive 31 Days of Hope : encouragement to go from IS to COULD BE in a reader or your inbox, click HERE.

The whole series day-by-day:

1. 31 Days of Scary Hope -- (this post -- scroll down)

2. The un-scary part

3. People don't change? Yes they do.

4. From beer to eternity: I changed, too

5. Right to the edge of hope

6. Finding hope beyond the end of hope

6b. When the end of hope isn't

7. 'They' are right

8. Hope as a road trip

9. I hope...

10. Butterflies, Paul, and 2 things about hope

11. Sometimes what you're looking for has to find you

12. So how does a dream that you never had, come true?

13. Dirt grows stuff

14. Look it in the eye

15. 5 reasons hope is scary

16. My dead hope

17. 7 short books that encourage me to go from IS to COULD BE

18. Answer this question and discover your hope

19. The future in your rear-view mirror

20. Stop waiting on hope; commit and click

21. Commit, but keep your ear

22. Make up your mind: Talk or DO

23. Are you waiting for change or are you committed to it?

24. "I can't until..."

25. Everything is temporary

26. What's the purpose of YOUR waiting?

27. Yep, it's scary

30. Three things to do when your immediate hope is squashed

31. You don't get to do what other people do

32. Five things Rango taught me about commitment

33. What is hope?

34. You must see what's not visible yet

35. Scary can be your friend

37. Lose to win

38. Find the end of your story

39. Pep talk from one who made it out of the wilderness of hope

40. The coolest quote ever on hope

41. Confession

42. I think this is why we spend so much time with TV and the internet

43. A little story of misplaced hope

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Day 1

Tomorrow we'll begin talking about hope, Wonderful Hope, the bright sun in the morning, the ring of twelve-string guitars, fresh red strawberries, sleeping puppies, giggling babies, inspiring choruses that never end, and the way the air smells giddy on a surprising warm afternoon in March after a long frozen winter. 

That’s how your dream of fulfilled hope feels, only better.

But first, the scary

Do you really want change?

You want the thing you hope for, and maybe you don’t even know what that thing is, but you yearn and you dream for something beyond your reach.

You have the hope, but do you want the change?

I’ll go first

I have hopes to help and encourage people. I hope to put ideas, stories, and insights that have been in my head for years, into words that open eyes and give a perspective that changes how you see yourself, God, and others. Oh, I so want that! I think endlessly of this, plan lots, work some, finish little. It’s a long-term hope that stays a hope.

I dream, think, have good intentions, and pretend I’ll do it later. Scroll down here and notice the dates of old posts. Sporadic. Comments are off because zero looks lame. Why?

Committing to just this short-term 31 Days thing makes me hesitate. If I’m disciplined, I have two or three hours a day to do it, except for the frequent crazy days when it’s less. Plus, I’m going to Haiti for seven of the days, with no internet. See—no way, right? The way I am now, the way my time is now, I can’t do it.

That’s why I don’t do the long-term hope, either. For the hope to happen, things would change.

Do I really want change? No. But I want the thing I hope for.

Why would you be afraid of what you hope for? Fear of what?

Fear that your life will change. Fear of responsibility and raised expectations. When people have no expectations of you, you’re home free. Nobody notices you, or cares; no loss, no pain. No one knows what they’re missing, and you don’t either. But you have a hunch.

You think, let's keep expectations low and stay hidden. Then there’s no responsibility, no one expects you to show up, and no one will ever be disappointed. You can stay where you are, think about what you hope for, and pretend.

Scary hope

I’ve got hope, but I’m scared. Once you have hope, you’re scared of it happening, and scared of it not. You can’t win.

Are you addicted?

It’s possible to be addicted to the status quo, addicted to not changing, addicted to feeling sorry for yourself, addicted to excuses. Addicted may be a strong word, but that’s the word we use for things we can’t give up.

Jesus asked that sick guy, “Do you want to be healed?” Doesn’t that sound like a cruel thing to say to a sick person? Maybe he knew something about the guy that’s not obvious on the outside. When you have enough excuses, no one dares challenge you because they’ll look heartless. You can rig it so people will be afraid to call you on it, and so things will stay familiar and you never have to take any responsibility for changing. Jesus let the man know he was on to him.

Jesus is on to me, too. How about you? Do you want to change?

Let’s go

During these 31 Days, we’ll face the challenge of change, and we’ll look at the part we want—the thing we hope for. It CAN happen. We’ll hear stories to remind ourselves of how much hope can happen. Some of these stories may simply be interesting, some may inspire you, or some may speak very personally to you.

What are you hoping for? Say it out loud now. Repeat it. I dare you to hear yourself say it.

I just saw this photo and it made me cry

It’s our daughter Emily holding her computer when she and friends talked with Sara Frankl over Skype at the beach a few weeks ago.

Joy, life, light, babies, pain.

I stare at those faces, the bright sunshine, and the lady miles away in the computer. If you write, you’re supposed to be able to say something, but I can’t describe how I see a summary of our Life Experience in that photo. I just do and it makes me cry.

Sara has been sick for a long time. Some crazy disease made every movement painful for her. Okay, worse than painful. She was allergic to everything, even outside air, so she couldn’t leave her home. Even her dog had to stay inside, because he would bring air back in on his fur. This went on for years.

I can’t imagine.

Sara died Saturday night.

Joy, life, light, babies, pain, death.

And joy and life and light again.

I can only imagine.

Kick in the pants

All the leaves don’t turn colors and drop together.

My favorite tree is all green now, with just a few bright red splotches splattered around.

In the parking lot at work, a few dry leaves gather and blow, but the woods are still summer.

Change can be radical, but may not happen all at once.

You get a little warning, time to prepare and adjust. For awhile you can do summer and fall at the same time, but it has to be done knowing the change is coming.

This is your warning. Whatever it is, start now.

Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?

Parenting is tough. When the kids have some ongoing issue or problem, you wonder, “Is this a big deal? Or is it a stage they’ll grow out of?” You don’t want to overreact and make it worse. You also don’t want to ignore something serious.

Today we had a victory in our family: Stella went to school without crying. Last year, something happened at school that caused her anxiety every morning. It carried over to this year. She’d cry and cry before school, and fight to stay home. But she was OK once she got to class; her parents would leave and she’d stay all day and was fine.

But every morning she’d cry and fight. Mom and dad talked to her, prayed, talked to counselors, and prayed some more. This went on for weeks.

Today, she walked right in: “Bye Mommy!”

Did she just grow out of it? Will it change tomorrow? We don’t know.

My mom worried about me when I was a kid. For lunch, I’d only eat mayonnaise sandwiches on white bread, with the crust cut off. Crust was too radical. And the mayonnaise had to be spread micro-thin. Lunch was a white square. She was afraid I’d grow up to be a picky eater. I was a very skinny kid.

This morning I weighed 168 pounds. Six more pounds and I’m borderline overweight. I’m thinking of making homemade boiled peanuts this weekend.

I grew out of it.

A firefighter friend laughs at people who call to get their cat out of a tree. He says, “I’ve never seen a cat skeleton in a tree.” Me either. They must come down on their own.

Everything is not a cat in a tree, eventually coming down on it’s own. But, maybe it’s more often than we think.

Discouragement and hope hold hands

This call was the highlight of my afternoon on the radio yesterday.

Tiffany has a heart for kids, but after a hard day, her heart needs to be reminded of how God sees the kids. Sometimes the people you care for most have no clue of the sacrifice you make for them. (click to listen -- 1:37) 

Tiffany's heart needs perspective

The song she needs to hear, says: Give me your love for humanity / Give me your arms for the brokenhearted / Ones that are far beyond your reach / Give me your heart for the ones forgotten / Give me your eyes so I can see.

Course it goes both ways – I can be the one with no clue of the sacrifice someone is making for me. I can be the reason that someone needs to be reminded of God’s perspective.

Do you think it will arrive gift wrapped with your name in calligraphy on a fancy card?

Fran has horses. And, she has mice in the horse barn. So she says to herself, “I need a black snake to take care of the mice.”

Time goes by. She puts up with the mice.

Then one day she goes to the restroom at work, and there’s a black snake on the floor by the toilet! She does what we all do when we see a snake—some kind of “Eeeeek!” scream.

Then suddenly she stops, smiles, and says, “Oh, thank you Lord!” She gets help, and takes the snake home in a cardboard box.

You have to remember you asked for it.

Answered prayer is alive and wild and feels dangerous.

Emily wrote a book

It’s very good, and needed, but it doesn’t count for me to say that, since I’m her dad.

It’s called Grace for the Good Girl. There are a lot of good girls around; maybe you’re one, or know one. They need a lot of grace. Here are a few of them…

And you can read the first chapter HERE.

How will you use your superpower today?

You do have a super power. Your ability to give attention is a super power.

Inside you is an antenna that is created to tune in and listen. We all have one. When a TV is on in a room, your attention sneaks over there. If you start to overhear a conversation near you, you tune in. All that time you spend on the internet? Your antenna.

Your antenna is always looking for a signal to latch onto. It’s always working, automatically, with no effort from you. That’s a super power. And you can control your antenna. You can point it at football, or HGTV, or your neighbor. Or God. Or Entertainment Tonight, or Grace for the Good Girl, or Burnt Orange Nation, or Nesting Place.

You can turn your antenna around and point it at yourself and get all introspective, and dwell on your feelings, your faults, and your problems. Or you you can point your attention to your strengths (you have them), your calling (you have one), and doing good for people and the world.

Wherever you aim your attention antenna, that thing you point it at has the potential to consume you. Because the antenna never quits tuning in, and never gets tired. It will focus on where it’s pointed (or where you let it wander) for a few minutes, or hours, or years. But it’s always focusing.

Your Attention Antenna and your will are teammates. Together, they are a super duper power. It can be used for good or evil. You get to pick, and remember, not picking is choosing to let it wander. You’re the boss.