New Life'n

He'd be 79

Same age as Barbara Walters and Dick Clark.  This was his last speech.  He was killed the next day.

Without even trying

"So when are we going to get the backsplash done?"

It was breakfast Saturday when she said that.  We've planned to get it done for months; already have the tile.  We keep doing other things -- trip to NY, trip to the mountains, some other stuff.  But the real reason is I haven't made it a priority.

"I'll call the guy again this week to get an estimate.  I'll call two guys and we'll pick who we like."

But I was bugged, just a little.  Our little living room doesn't feel people-happy to me; the seating is all along the edges with a dance floor in the middle.  "How ya doin over there?!"  It's small but feels disconnected to me and that's important to me and yes I want the backsplash, too, but just so you'll know I have something I want too, yes me me me, I, I, I. 

I didn't say any of that.  I don't think she knew I was bugged, just a little.  Or she ignored it.  I did say, "So when are we gonna make the living room cozy?" just like she said about the backsplash.

We picked up the dishes and I went upstairs for a few minutes.  When I came back down she had moved things around in the living room.  Gee, it was cozier.  She wanted to know what I thought.  It was great, but I still saw a bare-wood dance floor.  We were going out so we took a few chair pillows with us, and a few hours later a wonderfully matching 8x11 wool rug filled the dance floor.  The room felt like a hug.  I loved it.

Now, when I had first mentioned the living room thing to her that morning, that was the first volley of what can escalate into a big disagreement.  It didn't, because she refused to play the I-me-mine game.  If one person refuses to play, there's no game.  And instead of that game, it turned into a great time together shopping and a very happy ending.  I think that's grace -- I didn't get the bad I deserved and instead got the good I didn't.

And the whole time she did it, there was no hint of attitude or mention of the backsplash.  It was like she could do it without even trying.  It made me want to do the same for her.

But I still haven't called the backsplash guy.